First post/vent!

So, IDK. I usually don’t blog a lot. I haven’t blogged since Xanga! Oh my..that was at least 8-9 years ago! I’ve been on this Internet thing for too long.

Anyways, the reason why I decided to start a blog, is..because I feel like my life is going down a really, really steep hill & there’s no obstacles to stop it.

The only person I have in my family is: my cousin, Sue. She’s always someone I can talk to, about anything. My family is so… dysfunctional! Just because I don’t want to do one of my parents’ wishes, they completely STOP talking to me. My mom tries to talk about me to my aunt, without using my name & I know she is. I don’t get why she just doesn’t say my name. She frikkin’ SCREAMS about all the “wrong” I’ve done just to keep my ears open, but not my eyes, ya know? Out of all of my siblings (I have 3 older brothers & a younger sister), I swear I’m the best one out of all of them! My oldest brother is like 28, has a $20/hr paying job, still lives with us, has his own car, but can’t afford to move out! My 2nd oldest brother has a family already. (Hooray for him!) My 3rd oldest brother has got to be the worst! My parents spend $4,000 on his first car..94 Honda Civic Hatchback, & a year later crashes it because his stupid ass was drunk driving! THEN, my parents pay for his D.U.I. ticket. He got my dad’s car towed away for driving with a suspended license and he frikkin’ ran a red light! THEY paid for that also! Honestly, he can’t do anything for himself; financially. Oh, and my dumb sister, she’s such a long story. (Man, what a long first post!) She stole at least $6,000 from my parents AND hasn’t paid it back. AND my parents keep buying sh*t for her! They just got her a new laptop that’s supposedly for college, but a desktop would do just fine! She ain’t movin’ out anywhere! It’s so dumb! Me, on the other hand, I disagree with one thing and they stop talking to me. I haven’t eaten at home since Wednesday! I’m always at my boyfriend’s house, or his grandparents’ house. They treat me better than my family is right now. I guess I just have to move out & be on my own. It’s really hard though because I’ve been supported by my parents for this long now, and I can’t seem to let go, even though I know I NEED too.. =/

I’ve been trying to live my life according to God, but it’s so hard and stressful at times, I can’t do it! I really try to abide in Him and His wishes, but there’s times where I just feel I can’t handle it and I just really want to give up. But, I know, when I feel like giving up, God gives me the strength again. As long as I love Him and believe in Him, I’m set for life. (Pretty intense for a first post, huh?)

I guess, moving on to happier thoughts!

My boyfriend & I of two years are planning to move out. Well, we need to get married first. I think that’s coming anytime soon… =D Wait for an update about that!

I am in desperate need of a job! I really don’t care if it’s at McDonald’s or some kind of fast food restaurant, I just need some ca$h money to support myself & my boyfriend. I really hope the economy will pick up soon! *Crosses fingers*

Since I don’t have money to spend for myself, I can’t get what I want…like: MAKE-UP! =( Wahhhh. Lol..

Ok, I guess this is all for my first post! (Who will read this?) Dun, dun, duuuuuun!!!